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When you love someone who may have a problem with alcohol, your own needs and desires can slip away and leave you feeling like your whole life revolves around someone else.
If you have spent a long time supporting someone, you may be familiar with having to change your plans–maybe because you had to pick them up from an unsafe situation; or maybe their need to drink was more important in the moment than an event that was important to you.
It can start to feel like alcohol is controlling both your life and their life.
Getting Them Help
Although alcohol is a socially accepted substance, it has a much more powerful effect on the body than many people realize. For heavy drinkers, it can be physically dangerous to stop drinking without medical support. There are now medications available to help people reduce the urge to drink. Encourage them to speak with a doctor about their options, or to access a service like this: virtual addiction medicine clinic
For many people, the easiest way to start is to attend an online or in-person Alcoholics Anonymous meeting to get support from others who have experienced similar struggles with alcohol and problem drinking.
It’s Not Easy
Maybe sometimes your loved one accepts your help, and sometimes they refuse, which can be an emotional roller coaster for you as you have so much love and hope for them. Maybe you desperately want them to feel happy and well, maybe it has been an ongoing problem and at this point you don’t know what else to do to support them.
Protecting Your Safety
If you are at risk for violence call 1-877-392-7583, call 911 if it is urgent.
Protecting Your Loved One’s Safety
Alcohol can lower mood and increase a person’s impulsiveness. If you are ever worried that your loved one may have suicidal thoughts, you can reach out for help by calling or texting 988 from anywhere in Canada or the United States 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and a crisis line responder will be there to support you.
Help for the Helper
There is support available for you as someone who worries about a person who has a problem with drinking alcohol. Alanon has online and in-person support groups all over the world, made up of people who are worried about someone else. There are groups for both adults and youth.
Another excellent resource is helpwithdrinking.ca which includes recent research information for medical providers about Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD).
More Help for the Helper-Focusing on You
If you feel drained and exhausted from supporting someone else, it is important to begin focusing on yourself and your own needs to keep yourself emotionally healthy.
For personalized care, OK Clinical Therapy Group has a diverse array of counsellors available to support you. Click here to read through the counsellors bios ; or let us do the work for you by filling out this online form and we will match you with the best fit. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us at 250-718-9291 or [email protected]
Written by: Tami Muhlert, Practicum Student
