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In our modern world of quick fixes and constant distractions, we’ve become masters at avoiding our emotions. We reach for our phones at the first hint of boredom, pop a pill at the slightest discomfort, or dive into work when grief comes knocking. But what if our emotions – even the uncomfortable ones – are actually trying to tell us something important?
The Sanitization of Modern Life
Society has gradually sterilized the human emotional experience. We’re expected to be “fine” all the time, to maintain a polished social media presence, and to bounce back quickly from setbacks. This sanitization of emotional life has created a generation of people who are increasingly disconnected from their natural emotional rhythms. We’ve forgotten that sadness, anger, and fear are not enemies to be vanquished, but rather messengers carrying vital information about our needs and boundaries.
The Price of Emotional Suppression
When we consistently push away difficult emotions, we don’t just suppress the bad – we dull our capacity to feel everything, including joy, love, and connection. Suppressed emotions don’t simply disappear; they manifest in our bodies as tension, in our minds as anxiety, and in our lives as disconnection. Research has shown that emotional suppression is linked to various physical and mental health issues, from chronic pain to depression.
Riding the Wave: A Different Approach
Instead of fighting our emotions, we can learn to “surf” them. Picture your emotions as waves in the ocean. Like waves, emotions naturally rise, peak, and eventually subside – if we let them. When we resist emotions, we create tension that actually prolongs their stay and intensifies their impact. By learning to “ride the wave,” we can experience our emotions without being overwhelmed by them.
Here’s What This Looks Like in Practice:
- Acknowledge the emotion without judgment. Simply name it: “I’m feeling angry” or “There’s sadness here.”
- Locate where you feel it in your body. Is there tightness in your chest? A knot in your stomach?
- Breathe into that space, allowing the sensation to be there.
- Notice how the sensation changes – it might intensify before it begins to fade.
The Art of Emotional Presence
Being present with our emotions doesn’t mean wallowing in them or letting them control us. Instead, it’s about developing a healthy relationship with our full emotional spectrum. When we allow ourselves to feel, we:
- Build emotional resilience
- Develop deeper self-awareness
- Form more authentic relationships
- Make decisions aligned with our true needs
- Experience more genuine joy and connection
Finding Support on Your Journey
If you’re ready to develop a healthier relationship with your emotions but feel overwhelmed about where to start, you don’t have to do it alone. The team at Okanagan Clinical Counselling specializes in supporting individuals on their journey toward emotional wellness.
An Invitation to Feel
The next time you notice an uncomfortable emotion arising, try something different. Instead of reaching for your phone, turning on the TV, or busying yourself with work, pause. Take a breath. Give yourself permission to feel whatever is present. Remember that emotions are like weather patterns passing through the sky of your awareness – they’re temporary visitors, not permanent residents.
Start with these answers and build your life around them. Remember, you’re not just managing time – you’re curating your life experience. Make it count.
If you’re seeking to connect further or receive support, or need other assistance, please reach out to us at 250-718-9291 or email us at info@okclinical.com.
For specialized services, our team is ready to help you explore our various counselling programs. You can also check out our General Counseling Services, learn about the Types of Therapy we offer, or visit our booking page here.
Written by: Kathryn Whatman, Practicum Student
