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Moving Toward Self-Compassion
Self-compassion has become a focal point in the world of mental well-being. Beyond this sphere, many areas of business, learning, and entertainment are also drawing attention to the importance of offering ourselves kindness. But what is self-compassion? What does it look like to practice this in our world full of pressure and expectations? And what if you have not received or witnessed compassion from those around you, can you still learn to do this in a meaningful way? The resources available for self-compassion are rich and abundant, fostering a lifelong journey of growth. Allow me to introduce just a few concepts and starting points here.
Self-compassion falls under the umbrella of self-care, shaping how we relate to ourselves. When someone is able to notice their own needs, see these needs as valid and normal, and attend to these, they are practicing self-compassion. An important part of this is the intersection of how we feel, think, and act toward ourselves. Is it with harshness, neglect, or tender kindness? Self-compassion is broad but tends to show up in very simple, ordinary ways.
What Impacts Self-Compassion?
Unsurprisingly, the family and people we grew up around and the culture we live in have a significant impact on how we relate to ourselves. Maybe we got the message that we are not worthy of love, that we cannot do anything to change our life, or perhaps we were shown that our needs do matter and that we have the agency to attend these. Yet at any age, each person has the potential to shift how they relate to themselves and others, shaping the rest of their life.
Some may have the concern that focusing on oneself will make a you selfish, individualistic, or closed off to the needs of others. Having a vibrant compassion for others is likely important to many reading this. Instead of undercutting this value of other people, self-compassion has been shown to actually increase the authenticity and availability of our compassion for others. When the way we relate to ourselves aligns with how we wish to treat others, it empowers us to live out this value even more. Additionally, if compassion for others comes more easily, you may find it becomes a resource that helps you share compassion with yourself too.
So Where Do You Start?
The sense of “I don’t know how to do this correctly” or “I’m not doing this right” can come up a lot when someone starts growing in self-compassion, and that’s ok. This practice is flexible, creative, and has space for us when we self-criticize our attempts at self-compassion.
Here are Some Additional Resources for More Information:
If you’re seeking to connect further or receive support for living an cultivating self kindness and growth, or need other assistance, please reach out to us at 250-718-9291 or email us at [email protected].
For specialized services, our team is ready to help you explore what an embodied life can look like through our various counseling programs. You can also check out our General Counseling Services, learn about the Types of Therapy we offer, or visit our booking page here.
The following resources are excellent places to start establishing your self-compassion practice, going at your own pace:
- Reading list: https://self-compassion.org/recommended-reading-list/
- Self-compassion exercises: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/
Written by: Emily Beckett, Practicum Student
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