Exploring the Self Through Genograms

I wonder how many of us can state our Myers-Briggs personality results? INFP? ESFP? There are many individual personality tools, with varying degrees of evidence to support their efficacy, available to us. Making use of these inventories and quizzes is both helpful and can be a lot of fun. When understanding ourselves, we often default to discussions, questions, and quizzes about us as individuals. Insightful as these are, systemic influences are likely to impact your life as well. Exploring these systemic influences can be an important step in understanding who you are. 

Systemic Influences

Dr. Murray Bowen developed what is referred to as family systems theory. This theory holds that individuals cannot be fully understood in isolation; rather, they must be seen and understood as part of their family of origin. It posits that deep-rooted patterns exist within families and that the uncovering of these patterns is essential to understanding the self. 

Making a Genogram

One way you can explore these systemic influences in your life is through the use of a family genogram. A family genogram is essentially an expanded family tree. Rather than simply names, marriages/divorces, children, dates of birth, and dates of death, we expand on things such as interpersonal relationships (emotional abuse or a closed/hostile relationship) and displayable attributes (alcohol dependency or obesity). Here is a great resource which outlines common symbols used when building family genograms. Here is a great resource that explains the interpersonal relationship definitions. Other things to note are major events like war or immigration, mental health issues, traumas, health issues, and the role the individual played in the family (think the hero, black sheep, clown, or victim). 

It’s often helpful to use colourful pens and markers as well as a big piece of paper. Give yourself time to work on your family genogram. If you need to step back and take a break, allow yourself that space and that emotional courtesy. Being able to ask questions about family members you are unsure of is also helpful. 

Making Sense of Your Genogram

When looking at your family genogram, try and think systematically while you search for patterns. Some questions you might ask are: What patterns are clear? Which patterns are unsurprising? Which patterns are surprising? What are the most common issues in terms of mental and physical health? What makes you most sad about your family genogram? What makes you most proud? Which components of your family genogram make you stop and think, “I actively want to choose/do this instead of that”? 

Even the process of creating your family genogram could prove revealing. Do you find yourself hesitant to explore certain family members or certain relationships? What emotions arise as you jot down certain names and/or certain symbols? Remember that you will see patterns that are protective as well. These might look like strengths and resources within the family. This might look like a person who really loves you, role models of what you want to be like, and/or themes such as sisterhood, overcoming adversity, and the like. 

It’s a great idea to explore a family genogram with your counsellor, whether you make you one together or whether you bring in the one you made. 

Looking to learn more? Check out:

1. https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/systems-theory-therapy
2. https://www.genogramanalytics.com/genogram_symbols.html
3. https://genopro.com/genogram/emotional-relationships/
4. Our page on Families & Couples Counselling or Children Counselling.
5. Or Contact Us at 250-718-9291. Or email us at [email protected] for more information or to book an appointment.

Written by: Samantha O’Hara,

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