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As families move through the back-to-school transition, so many aspects can cause stress and anxiety for both parents and children alike. Parents worry about who their child’s teacher will be, class sizes, where their child will fit in the academic hierarchy of their grade. Children will worry about change—pure and simple—leaving their parents yet again, for a new teacher, a new group of classmates, new material and just…trying to fit in…in general. Most of these things are things that we cannot control. Let’s focus for a minute on what we CAN control…
As a graduate student counsellor and a mother, I hear it time and time again, the overwhelm, the “I thought I was prepared…”, and frankly, the extreme and utter chaos that can ensue in the early days of back-to-school. It happens. Stuff happens, and you are not alone!
The difference between school being out for the summer and school returning to session is the loosening and re-tightening of routine. While it is easier to loosen the reins for summer fun, research suggests that children need (and respond best) to structure and routine. This is important in many aspects of development: from behavior and emotional regulation, to sleep, nutrition, and so much more.
According to research “naturally occurring family routines/[parent–child interactions] provide both a predictable structure that guides behaviour and an emotional [regulation] that supports early development” (Chen, 2017; Spagnola & Fiese, 2007).
Further, when preparing to go back to school “a consistent bedtime routine was [found to have] better sleep outcomes, including earlier bedtimes, shorter sleep onset latency, reduced night wakings, and increased sleep duration. Decreased parent-perceived sleep problems and daytime behaviour problems were also related to institution of a regular bedtime routine” (Buxton et al., 2015; Mindell, et al., 2015, p. 717). In order to re-establish regular sleep patterns, it is advisable to start a full-week to two-weeks before school is back in session (depending on the child.) In fact, some parents maintain their children’s sleep schedule right through summer break. It is important to recognize that each child and family dynamic is different and that there is no be-all, end-all “rules” for what is best for your family.
That said, if you are simply “surviving” the first few weeks of school being back in session and you are still experiencing feeling of overwhelm, your household is in constant chaos, and your are flailing to keep your head above water, help and support are readily available. Okanagan Clinical Counselling Services deals with a wide array of clientele and we can help you handpick the appropriate professional to help you tackle your concerns.
This post was written by OCCS’s Student Counsellor: